Numbing Love
by immyownsuperman
Summary: Does House have the guts to tell Cuddy he loves her? Will his crew betray him for there own self-satfastcion?
1. True Feelings

:House's House:

House sat on his couch picking cords on the vintage guitar. The sound virbrated off the walls making it rough and edgy. He let his hand move with the music letting all his true feelings out. The music distracted him from all the pain in the world, which he wished would leave. He would never admit what he did to Cuddy made him angry with himself. That would just be weak and stupid. The cruel and vile things he did to push her far away. Deep down they were just acts, something to hide the love. The love that was hidden deep down.

He was still playing when there was a knock on the door. It awoke him from the deep thinking. He had to limp to the door and if it was a salesman he was gonna kick them all the way down the stairs. He was sick of salesmen and it hurt to limp to the door. Maybe he should have brought the cane that would be real funny. When he pulled open the door Foreman stood in the doorway umbrella in hand. His eyebrows were set in a thoughful postion. Here comes the lecture House thought. Lectures were what Foreman did a lot lately and it was making House real angry. House was going to close the door but Foreman caught it with his hands.

"We need to talk." Foreman said. House gestured with his hand telling him to come in. House was wearing sweats and a tee and Foreman a nice suit with a tie.

"Yes?" House asked sitting on the couch.

"I want to know how your gonna hurt Lisa more."

"Oh I don't know maybe put a pin on her chair." House said sarcastically.

"You know what I meant." Foreman said upset.

"I'm not hurting her." House said smug.

"Be serious. I meant mentally."

"That's her own fault."

"Don't give me that. You do care and I know you do!" Foreman was getting really angry. House said no more he was right he did care. He would always care just never acutally say it. House picked up his gutiar and started to play Wonderwall on it. This was the song that truley expressed what he felt for cuddy. He wanted Foreman to know but he couldn't say it in words so he said it in music. "I knew you did." Foreman said after House finished. Foreman was smiling and House was trying to look at him but he couldn't. He had just told someone how he felt that was against all he had taught himself. He was a rule breaker just not of his own rules.

"You can't tell her." House said letting down all his walls.

" I won't but I think you should." Foreman was lying through his teeth House just didn't know. Foreman was gonna go tell Cuddy once he left on the phone anyways. Foreman knew that House would never so he needed Cuddy to know but he had good reasons.

" I can't." House said.

" Well give it time." Foreman said. With those words Foreman left, no goodbye. House went to his bed and layed on top of the covers staring at the ceiling. His leg was numb but his mind wasn't. Numb is all he wanted now he really hurt for Cuddy. He fell alsleep the image of cuddy in his mind.


	2. Right Back At You

:Cuddy's House:

Cuddy was finishing up on some dishes when there was a short and hard knock on the door. Ten minutes she was going to be in bed, now twenty minum. She slipped to the door ready to open it but just wanting to leave it there and go to bed. But what if it's House? Cuddy thought. House dropping by was not unusual he did it occansilly mostly late at night. She decied to open it and there was Foreman standing in the doorway.

"Hey." Foreman said. That was unusual unless he needed her to kick house out of bed.

"Hi?" Cuddy said confused.

"I went and talked to House." Of course he did.

"Okay and what does it have to do with me?" Cuddy wasn't really confused but with House you never know. He let Foreman in before he answered who knew how long this would take.

"I asked him about you." He replayed.

"Oh... so?" she didn't want to act like she really wanted to know even though she did.

"Well... he didn't really say anything. He played Wonderwall on his guitar."

"What? That isn't House in a million years." Cuddy laughed.

"That's what I thought, but he has been acting strange lately." Foreman said slowly and sincere. He was right House had been acting strange, ever he sense he had that one case. Oh what was her name... oh yes Angel she was 14 and a very intresting girl.

"Why do you think that is." Cuddy went to the kitchen and got a glass of water for Foreman. He took the glass and chugged it.

"Thanks. Did you ever see how he was with Angel?" Foreman asked.

"No I don't think so... what does that have to do with anything?" Cuddy was just acting she really hadn't but she knew Angel was the reason.

"Well... He was happy and he laughed and held her hand." Foreman was serious. Cuddy stared at him eyes and mouth wide. House? No not him that couldn't be him. That wasn't what he'd do he had walls tons too many to count. How could a little girl do what she never succed in? "I know we all did the same thing watching him." Foreman replayed to her reaction.

"Um... well I have to talk to him." She reached for the phone but Foreman stopped her.

"You can't I promised him I wouldn't tell you." Foreman said.

"Then why you tell me?" Cuddy said.

"You needed to know, beside he will get around to it sooner or later, just wait." of course he was right. House would tell once someone knew other then Wilson.

"Yes I know."

"Okay... well I better head out." He walked to the door.

"Bye." Cuddy shut the door. She needed to get to bed now. House had a new case his crew would be there bright and early. She set on her night gown and headed to the bathroom. She stared at her face in the mirror and House's smiling face appeared beside her. Ugh she thought that is it. She washed her face and brushed her teeth then headed for her bedroom. The baby was in her crib and sleeping soundly.

She slipped under the covers and turned out the light. Although it was dark she still saw House, she could picture him laying next to her, brushing her face. She sat up and put her head in her hands. It was bad enough she had to deal with a baby now she had to deal with this. She is in love with House and she knows it. Now that she knows House feels the same it made it even harder she just wanted to wish him next to her. She leaped out of bed and into the kitchen.


	3. Haunting

The kitchen was dark and cold. Cuddy flipped on one light she didn't want to wake up the baby (I don't know what shes going to name her baby.). It was still to dark but atleast there were no more haunting images of House. Haunting wasn't exactly how she put it but they kinda did haunt her with images that probably would never be. She checked the fridge there wasn't much in there just some leftover chinese food, tomato juice, and milk for the baby. She did really need to go shopping. She heated up the chinese food grabbing it out before it beeped. The noodles were decent enough.

There was no way she was going to sleep now. Images and images of House were the only thing that keep her up at that moment. She was kinda sick of him, he should just be a man and come out with it. Her cell started to virbate in her pocket. She pulled it out Wilson it read. She laughed in her head that was so him. She wanted to pick it up but what would he think if she was up this late?

"Hello?" Cuddy answered.

"Sorry to call so late. I just needed to talk." Wilson said.

"It's fine... I can't sleep."

"Okay... House called me about an hour ago." Of course.

"Yeah I guessed." She said laughing in her head.

"Oh... well I think you should talk to him."

"I'm more waiting for him."

"Oh..." Wilson was sounding akward.

"Yes..." This was an akward silence.

"Bye." He hung up the phone before she could say good night. Of course Wilson would never betray House. What a foolish friendship there were akward and werid about it. House and Wilson just needed to grow up and do the adult thing. It made her feel better knowing someone would never betray House. Maybe someday it would be two or three counting the person sound asleep in the other room. If he could learn the trust of her daughter he would be complete. He needed some kinda of love in his life and Wilson wasn't going to give him the bond between a father and his daughter. She could just picture House cradling her daughter smiling down at her. It was an image the she could never forget. Cradling her daughter and her hand was an image she didn't want to forget.

It wasn't House though. She could dream and dream but House would never have a bond like that. He has to many walls and he is always in pain. Love was a strong thing but not strong enough to fix House. She hated lots of things about him, why did she love him? Was it those rare moments of happiness? His deep love for her? She probably never know.

She got up and cleaned her mess then went to check on her daughter. She always sleep with a smile on her face. A smirk that reminded her of House she always was looking for traits of him in her. Even though she was adopted she acted so much like House, maybe it was just her crazy imagination. She stroked her babys face and felt some arms hug her from behind, a rugged beard tickle her face but when she looked behind her there was nothing. It was driving her crazy, she shouldn't have fanastys like that it would never happen.

"Good night." She whispered. Then went to her bedroom and slipped under the covers. It was dark but this time it was comforting to her this time. she could feel a hand in hers but this she didn't dimiss the image of House. She fell asleep with that image carved in her memorys.


	4. Thank You

:Hospital:

"Good morning House." Wilson greeted House as he entered the hospital. Wilson was looking for some files but couldn't seem to find any. House wasn't in the mood for anything this morning, so he just gave Wilson a chessy smile. A full night of Cuddy dreams wasn't helping him forget what wasn't ever going to be as much as he wished it was going to never be. House's leg was in pain and he was out of vicodain. He had some more in his desk and he needed it really bad. House walked to his office.

"It was a brain tumor." Kutner said as House walked in. He had bags under his eyes and he was wearing the same clothes he had worn yesturday.

"God... go home your a mess." House commented.

"We all should... call us if were needed." Thirteen said.

"Oh I will you better count on it." House said sarcastically. They all got up and left. A brain tumor that seemed to simple for a case they had been working on for awhile. No case to keep him busy. He had a lot of time on his hands and he needed to keep himself busy or he think of Cuddy. Foreman had convinced him to tell him but now he regreted it alot. Time was his ultimate enemy and he hated time. Life is short but a day is long when you love someone and they don't love you back.

House walked over to his office. He remembered when Cuddy used to light up the room. Her beautiful face looking up at him from his desk, her soft skin touching the glossy glass. He needed to stop thinking about this it wasn't him at all and he knew it. He had never really felt like this before. Love was a strong thing, Angel had taught him that she was glowing with it. He had never really loved someone until he had had Angel's case now he loved her like a daughter.

There was a knock and a chuckle. "What do you want Wilson?" House insited.

"You need to talk to her." Wilson commented.

"No..." House sharply said.

"It's not easier to run House."

"I'm not running... I can't run." House said sracastcally. Wilson left he was sick of House's Humor it was stupid. He was running in a sense, he was running form his feelings.

House say a white evenlope out of the corner of his eye. There was a card on his desk 'Thank you' was written on the top of it. A thank you note? Who would give him a thank you note? Those were usually sent to one of his team. He was always told he was stupid and careless. Maybe it was sent to the wrong person that seemed more likely. He picked it up and say 'House' in the bottom corner.

He opened it up and there was a picture of Angel and House in the evenlope. Wilson had taken the photo for Angel she always wanted to remember that moment. There she was smiling and there House was asleep in the chair. She was pointing at him with the biggest smile ever. He hadn't found out about the photo until after it was taken. 'House' he read 'Thanks for all you did. I had so much fun being with you. That photo was one of my favorite moments you never left my side. I thought you like to have a copy of it. Love Ang. P.S Tell Wilson I said hello I miss that guy.' House was thinking hard. Ang was a strong person she always found humor in everything. She had never cryed or complained about pain.

House opened a drawer and put the card in there. He took the photo and put it in his wallet. His leg started to throb after he had put everything away. He searched for his vicodain and took three. He was running low and didn't want to run out that would be bad. He was no longer in pain and just smiled. He got up and left his office.


	5. Lost Hope

:Wilson's Office:

House entered Wilson's office and slammed the door behind him. Wilson already knew who it was there was only one person who would slame the door like that. House slammed his cane on Wilson's desk."Can't you bug someone else?" Wilson asked him.

"I can but, your just so entertaining." House said sarcastically. He layed down on the couch and spun his cane around with his hand.

"What do you want?" Wilson asked still studying his file.

"Guess what was on my desk today." House said smugly.

"A thank you card?" Wilson asked already knowing.

"Yes how you know?"

"I put it there for Angel."

"Oh..." House was bummed out now. Wilson knows everything House thought.

"She's here in the hopsital." Wilson commented looking at the file again. She is here? That's werid maybe her TB is acting up if she forgot to take her medication. "It's her mom." Wilson added then handed him her file.

"Cancer?" House meant that as a what the heck kinda thing.

"Yes we caught it to far off." House knew what that meant. She would probably die any day now, you could see that by her file. House got up and walked out with the file he knew that was the only way he was going to get Wilson to follow him. He was right Wilson did follow him. He was going to the faculty lounge and Wilson didn't seem to complain.

:Faculty Lounge:

There was no one else in the Faculty Lounge. House threw the file on the table and went to the foosball table. This is what they always did when they were in here that's how they talked. The ball wasn't anywhere so he got on his knees and saw it was under the table. His leg hurt but he still managed to get the ball. "Got it." House said standing up. Wilson was already there ready to play. He tossed in the ball and they started to play.

"You should go talk to her." Wilson said. He wasn't looking at House because he knew if he took his eyes off the ball House would take advantage of that.

"I will." House wasn't really thinking.

"You will? You sure? Well... you better your all she talks about but she won't leave her mom's side." That surpirsed House.

"I will." House repeated himself. They just played in silence. House wasn't thinking so Wilson keep on winning round after round. He was thinking hard about Ang he would go see her but when should he. Seeing her in the hopsital not sick was going to be a differnt expericence. He had never really bonded with any one. Ang was a speaical person and admiting that to anyone would just be werid. Wilson was thinking hard also, what was Angel going to do once her mom was dead. He hadn't told her that her mom wasn't going to live through this that be to mean. She be put in foster care. There was only one person that would adopt her. House, yes he convince him Angel was very fond of him.

"You better." Wilson finally said still thinking of his plan.

"You know I will, because I'm just so great." House said sarcastically. Wilson smiled to himself sarcasm wasn't going to get him anywhere. Maybe him adopting Angel isn't so good Wilson thought No he's perfect. Wilson's pager went off and Wilson looked at it. He put his head in his hands and just sighed. Angel's mom had just gone into crtical state. He wanted to move but couldn't even though he knew she wasn't going to survive this he had still hoped alot. Hope was overrated that was what House thought of it and he knew what was going to happen to Wilson for hoping. He always dissapointed himself because of it. House started for the door and left without thinking Wilson close behind.


	6. Just like me

:Hospital:

Wilson almost ran into Angel's mom's room. Angel looked up from her PSP and smiled at House. Her mom was fine just lying on the bed asleep, there was no nurse or another doctor. Wilson knew who had done it, House the little immature child. Wilson was upset at him maybe he wanted a real reason to get her and she Angel. House stood by the door spinning his cane, waiting for Wilson to explode. Wilson couldn't explode and tell Angel about how her mom was going to die in maybe a week. She had a month if she was lucky. Wilson sighed and turned around he gave House the look.

"Opps." House said to get Wilson to speak.

"Your so immature." Wilson said walking off. He didn't want to feed House's childish mind games. Angel had gone back to her game but was smiling gently. Angel always did smile about everything, he had fallen a few times. She spilt her water on purpose to get back at him for poking her with a needle not gently. She was almost as cunning as he was.

"Your thinking about the water aren't you." Ang said looking up. She was smiling again, she could see right through him. Maybe it was him looking at the floor or the fact that he had been looking at the water.

"How do you know that?" House asked her.

"It's the look on your face, your thinking about something funny and it's not Wilson, because it wasn't funny enough. Your eye's would flick to the water every three seconds then to the water, then to me." Angel smiled again but this time it was a smug smile. She smile's just like you House he remember Wilson saying.

"Clever I taught you well, Padawan." House joked. Angel went back to her game still smiling. "How do you sit here for hours?" House asked just trying to pawn her off her PSP.

"Too bad." Angel said predicting his plan.

"Maybe I taught you to well." House said.

"Well...here." Angel tossed him her PSP.

"Thanks." House said sitting down in a chair across the room. He noticed Angel was handling her skateboard with her left foot and staring at her right foot. "Use of your right foot will come back soon." House said staring at the PSP.

"Yea I know but I wanted my mom to see me walking normally before she died." Angel said still staring at her foot.

"You don't know that."

"I do i'm not dumb."

"Yes but you don't know that."

"I read medical books you remember that right." Angel was moving the skateboard around probably remembering what it was to ride. She grabbed her crutches and got up.

"Where you going?" House asked still playing the PSP.

"To see the team." Angel limped out her right foot almost dragging on the ground. He laughed she seemed even more like her now. House followed behind her.

"I thought Wilson said you weren't leaving your mom's side." House commented.

"More like not allowing me to leave." She said still limping on her crutches. He had turned her to the dark side. She was getting more like him everyday which would explain why Wilson didn't let her leave, but doesn't explain why he wanted him to see her. "I actually asked to see you several times." she added.

"Oh this is good." House said.

"Let me guess Wilson thinks i'm to much like you." She said

"Your to good."

"Taught from the best." she turned her head towards House as she said it. Maybe Wilson was right she is turning into him. Then again she is losing the last of her family and has no one left. She is a lot like him. Ang limped ahead of him, he could see she was unstable. Here left leg wasn't strong enough yet to handle all this walking. He was going to stop her but before he could her left leg gave out. As a normal reflexe her right foot tried to catch her but that foot was in no way ready for that. She fell to the ground passing out from the pain.

"Nurse!" House shouted. A nurse rounded the corner, and rushed to Ang's side. House limped to her side and stood above her. "She doesn't have room you will need to give her one." at that the nurse called for other nurse's to come help her.


	7. Close Friends

:Room 103:

Angel awoke to the sound of snoring next to her. She turned her head and saw House asleep in the chair next to her. He couldn't have been there long because he looked about the same. She remembered her leg giving out but that was pretty much was it. From the looks of it she tried to catch herself with her right foot. She saw her PSP running still in House's hand and her ipod was on the end table. House always took her stuff, he enjoyed it. She didn't mind at all. She closed her eyes again hoping to catch some more sleep. Before she could get to sleep she heard footsteps enter the room.

"Oh, House." She heard Wilson said. He always blamed everything on House. She didn't open her eyes just listened to what wilson was going to do next. He picked up her chart then went and sat down in a chair. What's with all the Doctors hovering over me? House was reasonable but Wilson wasn't. He got up and she elt him pull the blanket up farther.

"I'm up you know." She said opening her eyes.

"Your to much like him." Wilson said sitting down.

"I don't snore like that do I?" she asked him. He shook his head no Ang smiled at him. Wilson could see the same smile House had when he was happy. Ang smiled more then House though. He wanted to tell her her mom only had about a week left but she couldn't right now. He mom had just gone in a come and they could keep her in a coma for a week before she passed away. Everytime her mom woke up Ang would say her goodbyes. She wouldn't wake up again it was a good thing Ang had already told her goodbyes. "Can you just tell me what's bugging you." Ang always could tell when something was bugging him.

"You mom... has just gone into a coma." Wilson told her.

"So basically she's gone." Wilson nodded at her. Ang was a smart girl and it was good thing she was like House. Losing so much when your young can be diffcult, that is why she's so much like House. He remembered she had one friend Bernard was his name. They were best friends, who thought people could be best friend's if it was a guy and girl thing. At that bernard stepped in all 6' 3" of him. He was a skinny boy, had blonde hair, and brown eyes.

"Your a mess." Bernard said to Ang sitting next to her.

"Thanks bestie." She said laughing at him. House opened his eyes and say Bernard sitting there. He closed his eye's as Wilson left giving House the 'get out of here' look.

"Tim sends his wishes and says he will be in to see once hes ungrounded." Tim was her other bestie. Tim was shorter then her and had long brown hair. Tim always called her his sister from another mister.

"Okay tell him I miss my brother from another mother." Bernard nodded at her. Ang closed her eyes and relaxed just thinking. She had lost his father in the car accident four months ago and her mom was basically dead now. She probably had another month in the hospital what was she going to do now? She had no place to go or stay. No one wanted her she was glad her friends lived close by. She'd never had better friends then Tim and bernard.

"Your to athletic, you shouldn't move around so much." Bernard commented.

"I can move around as much as I want." Ang said smiling at him. Life was okay with Bernard around.


End file.
